The Xem VanAdams ‘Meet & Greet’ In New York City

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Saturday, March 15, 2014

New York City

 

Even though some of the included photographs have previously been shared via the Xem VanAdams Facebook, Twitter and Instagram timelines, it was suggested that I archive these captures here at XemSays.com as well.

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Over the past six years, God has given me an online platform that allows my written + oral human stories, experiences, ideas, opinions and points of view to reach thousands of others from across the country and beyond. Yesterday, I was privileged to meet a group of those individuals for lunch in New York City.

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We gathered at the BBQ’s in Greenwich Village to enjoy food, cocktails, conversation and one another’s company, as well. Though many of the invited attendees expressed joy in finally being able to meet me, I felt most honored to see the faces of people who have been commenting and sharing my work since 8/8/2008.

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They were shocked as they walked in and I was able to immediately identify them by their usernames. That goes to show just how loyal & consistent my audience is. Truly a pleasure! I’m now being encouraged to ‘take my show on the road’. LOL! Well… there’s no telling what 2014 has in store for US.

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If God wills it, I would love to host a ‘Meet & Greet’ in every major city where my supporters read & watch my content. Lets put it into the universe now…

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THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for being here ladies & gentlemen for this phase of my life journey. I am eternally grateful.

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I Want To Workout BUT Im Too Embarrassed To Go To The Gym & I Don’t Know How To Get Started

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Many of you at this very moment are having $29.99 drafted from your checking account on a monthly basis for a gym membership you never use. You may have signed up at the beginning of last summer or even at the dawn of this new year. The intent was either to lose weight, tone your stomach, build muscle or simply bulk up as to look great in a fitted, tank top. However, the first day you entered the facility, you became intimidated looking around at all of the equipment and all of the ‘fit’ individuals exercising on the weight room floor. As a newbie, you felt slightly embarrassed to be standing inside of the gym. Your mind began to filter thoughts that you were ‘too out-of-shape’ to even be standing inside of an athletic club. Your confidence was shot by your first gym experience, and therefore, you no longer attend.

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It was October 2012 when I signed up for my first, adult, gym membership. Prior to that, I would accompany my father to Baltimore’s downtown YMCA facility to occasionally lift weights during my summers in college. Unlike a lot of guys in their twenties, building muscle and maintaining bulk weight was never a priority for me during those years. As a result, I worked out when I wanted to and cared less about my body frame. However, two years ago, I reached a point in my life where I did not like how my body looked in pictures or standing naked in my full length mirror. I was bombarded on a daily basis with photos of half dressed guys on Tumblr and Instagram who were obviously in great, physical shape. My metabolism had begun to slow down, and I was experiencing that ‘skinny-fat’ phase. My chest, arms and legs were still small, but didn’t have any tone. My stomach wasn’t hanging over my belt, but that entire midsection was flabby and thicker than the other areas on my body. Doing a series of sit ups and push ups twice each week was no longer combatting my poor eating habits or lazy lifestyle choices. Knowing that my metabolism would continue to decrease, I decided to take control of the way my body would develop.

When I first signed up for my gym membership with Merritt Athletic Club, the timing was perfect. I was mentally and emotionally drained by what I considered to be a lack of progress in my ‘online career’. Extremely frustrated by my inability to control my life circumstances, I knew that if I started working out consistently, I could control my physical build. Though I publicly announced that I was going to begin lifting weights and working out regularly in the fall of 2012, it was seven months later that I even began sharing my progress photos. Not only was I using this time away from my online platform to develop my body, but exercising regularly also helped me release a lot of the stress I felt regarding my lack of career success. The fact that I was now placing myself in a new environment on a regular basis, truly helped me ignore my feelings of sadness and frustration. I had developed a new focus that had absolutely nothing to do with my professional goals or romantic interests. This is how working out began to easily filter into my lifestyle. Going to the gym became a normal part of my daily routine.

THE SAME CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU…

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When I started my journey to gain weight, build muscle and lose my stomach fat, I decided to also surrender my fears of judgment. I knew going into the gym for the first time in 8 years, I was going to have to start from the beginning. I did not have a lot of upper body strength at the time and I accepted that fact. I could only bench press 45 pounds. I curled maybe 50 pounds. I could only push 95 pounds on the leg press and it was almost impossible for me to successfully complete 4 sets of 10 reps for each of the exercises. While all of the black guys and white, fraternity-like boys were piled in the free weight section of the gym, I was working out on the same machines that the old men and housewives were using. I spent the first 6-7 months in the gym simply building my strength, getting comfortable with the gym equipment and becoming use to the routine of working out on a daily basis. I wasn’t embarrassed at all, as I realized that MOST of the guys who were on the heavy duty equipment had started out the same way when they were in high school and college. I simply put on my iPod and spent 60-90 minutes each day following my ‘workout schedule’.

YOU SHOULD NOT JOIN A GYM SIMPLY TO POST PICS ON INSTAGRAM CAPTIONED #GymFlow – You absolutely have to want to see real results…

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1. Your first day at the gym should either be a Friday evening, Saturday night or a Sunday morning. Most gym facilities are extremely empty during these hours. You will have plenty of space and time to become comfortable using the different pieces of equipment, and trying out exercises that best fit your physical goals. I advise that you take an experienced individual with you for this first session. I brought my father along with me for my first, Sunday workout. Together, we created what would become my gym routine for the first 3 months of lifting weights regularly. We chose two pieces of equipment for each body part that I wanted to build; 2 chest exercises, 2 bicep exercises, 2 tricep exercises, 2 shoulder exercises, 2 back exercises, 2 ab exercises, 2 glute exercises, 2 quad exercises and 2 calf exercises.

Together, we also decided that I would perform the 2 chest, shoulder and back exercises on Mondays & Wednesdays. On Tuesdays & Thursdays I would complete my glute, quad and calf exercises. Fridays were dedicated to biceps and triceps, as Saturdays would be focused on abs and other cardio. On Sundays, I would stay home and rest. KEEP IN MIND that your biceps and triceps are automatically being worked when you’re lifting to build your chest, back and shoulders.

YOUR FIRST DAY AT THE GYM SHOULD NEVER BE A WEEKDAY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 6am-10am OR 4pm-9pm. This is when the facilities are crowded with the regular, more experienced patrons. YOUR FIRST DAY AT THE GYM SHOULD ALSO NEVER BE A SATURDAY. Everyone who has skipped or missed their weekday hours will be piled on the weight room floor.

2. Keep in mind that even though it may feel as if ‘everyone is staring at you’, most people are too focused on getting in and getting out of the gym to be focused on how your body looks. Most people in the gym are just as insecure with their bodies as you are. Even individuals who look to be in great, physical shape are desperately trying to fix what they consider to be a problem area. NO ONE is looking and laughing at you. Believe me, most individuals inside of the gym are silently supportive of seeing someone else begin their exercise journey.

When I first started working out, I always kept my body covered in sweatshirts, compression pants underneath my hooping shorts, and anything else that would hide my skinny-fat frame. It made me feel comfortable. I knew the day would come when I too would simply wear a tank top or a sleeveless shirt the ways in which the more muscular guys were wearing on the gym floor.

3. DO NOT SKIP YOUR SCHEDULED WORKOUT DAYS. Consistency is the ONLY secret to seeing results. It does not matter how much weight you lift or how many miles you run on the treadmill if you aren’t repeating the routine on the same days each week. For me, it has always been easiest to hit the gym as soon as I wake up in the morning; especially during the weekends. You want to get into the gym before the weight of the world hits you each day. It can be extremely tough to find the energy to workout after sitting in a classroom or behind a cubicle for eight hours. If you absolutely CAN NOT fit an early morning workout into your schedule, I certainly do advise that you purchase a pre-workout drink or pre-workout pills. These supplements often send a surge of energy through your system. Use the supplement two hours prior to leaving work or school. By the time you get in your car, your body honestly does feel rejuvenated. For guys especially, the pre-workout supplements will make you feel slightly horny, a bit stronger and excited about releasing the tension on the weight floor.

4. While a lot of older guys will deter you from using protein shakes, creatine and other supplements to help build muscles and put on mass weight, I certainly encourage it. The faster you begin seeing results, the more encouraged you become to continue working out on a regular basis. To be honest, I hate the way protein shakes taste, and I hate the nauseating feeling I get 20-30 minutes after drinking them. However, most others that I have spoken to do not experience the nausea. I began using flavorless Creatine powder in July 2013. I would add 5g-10g each day in my water or cranberry juice each morning. It helped me appear thicker, and also aided in my muscles not feeling incredibly sore the morning after an intense workout.

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I drink the GNC ‘BEYOND RAW’ RE-BUILT MASS SUPER ANABOLIC MASS GAINER protein shake. For those of us who simply want to gain weight, have a little chest, nice arms, round thighs and an overall ‘thick but not too muscular’ look, this product has certainly aided my journey. I also drink Vanilla-Creme MUSCLE MILK from GNC or regular Vanilla ENSURE from the grocery store during periods when my system simply can’t stomach and tolerate the protein shake.

5. USE THE SAUNA or STEAM ROOM. While some people are extremely uncomfortable sitting in their towel or compression shorts amongst strangers, the sauna and steam room truly do relax the muscles. A 10-15 minute session following heavy weight lifting exercises can make a lot of difference in how your body feels the next morning. Many individuals stop working out after the first few days because they can’t endure the soreness that affects their joints. The only way to avoid the pain is to either drink protein shakes of some sort, or to spend 10-15 minutes in a steam room following the workout. Even for me, when I increase my weight on the bench press, curl or any other exercise every 3 months, my body gets sore from the change. The pain is a signal to let you know that you have properly worked the muscle. If you aren’t experiencing initial pain after working out a new muscle or attempting a new exercise, you aren’t properly exercising.

6. YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST CHANGE YOUR DIET! Developing the ‘summer body’ you desire is 80% NUTRITION and only 20% EXERCISE. There is no point or purpose in you hitting the gym three or four times each week if you’re still going to eat anything your heart desires. Thankfully, in my case, fish has always been a huge part of my diet. I eat salmon, tilapia or whiting almost daily. Since fish and chicken are already HIGH in protein, it was very complimentary to my muscle building diet. I began eating oatmeal or boiled eggs for breakfast each morning. Oatmeal burns stomach fat and eggs are also HIGH in protein. As I would get extremely hungry before lunch, I snacked on greek yogurt of assorted flavors, unsalted almonds, apple slices or raisins. I stopped eating Doritos, chips, soft batch cookies and donuts altogether. My lunch consisted of grilled fish or chicken, steamed broccoli or asparagus, maybe some brown rice and an apple or grapes. Since I am most hungry after working out, I would have my protein shake after eating a full dinner, as to fill me up completely.

TO BUILD MUSCLE, THE GOAL IS TO TAKE IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF PROTEIN EACH DAY AS YOUR WEIGHT. Protein is ingested in GRAMS. I weighed 153 pounds when I started working out in October 2012. My shake already contained 60 grams of protein. This meant that I had to supplement the other 93 grams in the foods I ate; i.e. fish, chicken, eggs, greek yogurt and almonds. Some guys drink two protein shakes each day; therefore securing that they will exceed their protein gram intake.

YOU SHOULD ALSO NOT HAVE CHEAT DAYS MORE THAN ONCE PER WEEK. I only stray from my diet on Friday nights or Saturdays. I won’t treat myself to an entire pizza or a value meal from McDonalds, but I will do a quart of shrimp fried rice and two egg rolls from China Wok. I will also only drink a cocktail if Im attending a party or event. Alcohol is filled with sugar. Sugar creates tummy fat. I most recently started eating chicken cheesesteak subs again on my designated cheat day.

SNEAKING COOKIES, CUPCAKES, FRUIT JUICE, CHICKEN NUGGETS, A BAG OF CHIPS or SKITTLES in the middle of a busy day certainly does COUNT as cheating. If you become extremely hungry even after snacking on the almonds, greek yogurt, fruit or raisins, try drinking cups of green tea. I do it all of the time. Green tea also burns stomach fat quickly and will certainly curb your appetite.

7. REST YOUR BODY FOR 8 HOURS EACH NIGHT. Muscles do not grow while you are in the gym working out. Muscles only grow when they are resting. If you aren’t getting proper rest each day, your body isn’t going to recover from the heavy lifting or intense exercising that you’re doing on a regular basis. You will not receive your greatest gain potential until you are laying down and resting your body for the average 8 hours.

Overall, working out is a challenge. I don’t think I would have been consistent had I joined a gym in 2008 or 2010 when I was absolutely focused on blogging and creating youtube videos on a very regular basis. I began this journey during a period when I chose to isolate myself from the world. For seven months, I became so focused on building my body that I was able to ignore some of the other aspects of life that were not in my control. Going to the gym became as normal for me as waking up and brushing my teeth because I didn’t have other people or objectives acting as distractions. We all want to be in shape, but doing the work and making the sacrifice is extremely tough. If you simply have to start by consistently performing cardio exercises inside of your home, then do so. Only sign up for a gym membership once you know for a fact that you have the time, energy, focus and drive to remain consistent in exercising according to the initial schedule that you create.

YOU CAN DO IT. I DID.

 

Seeing Ourselves Behind The Selfie

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During the first week in March, 2014, I was approached by Khary Steph to contribute an original written piece to the first volume of his team’s new publication, ‘The Tenth’. This particular magazine has been created by industry art directors, Khary Steph, Kyle Banks and Andre Verdun Jones to express queer, black identity through various forms of artistry. The project was released publicly on April 10, 2014 in New York City. Since many of you will not have direct access to the catalogue of work, Ive elected to share my written piece with you. 

As I have previously shared via my Twitter HERE and both Facebook pages, HERE and HERE, ‘The Tenth’ has been reviewed by several top tier press platforms; including The Huffington Post, HERE, as well as BlackBook, HERE.

It was requested that the piece be a short, but analytical article that tackled the issue of gay black men and the contemporary role we play in media. Since I have spoken in great detail regarding that particular issue, I asked Khary if I could approach the piece from a ‘social media’ point of view. I wanted to dissect some of the reasons WHY this generation is so obsessed with their social media timelines. Specifically, I needed to focus on gay men of color and how the types of photos we post online are subconsciously used to give ourselves identity in a world that seems to ignore our presence. I was very surprised by my own interpretations as I began to analyze the tumblr photos & instagram pics; somehow having to create a parallel between similar visuals and the social atmosphere of present day.

 

The Tenth Promo Video (ABOVE)

THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH…

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A Brief Look At The Contemporary Gay Man Of Color In Social Media

The sun peers through the muddy frame of another mid-week morning. A 21 year old, gay black man is positioning himself between where he needs to be at 9 o’clock am and the place in the world he hopes to reach before his 30th birthday. Standing shirtless in front of his bathroom mirror, wearing bright colored boxer-briefs and holding an iphone to match, he snaps a series of photos of himself. Each shot is captured at the same side view angle. However, he distorts his facial expressions to exude a combination of silly, sad, and sensual emotions. He shifts through his photo library and selects the pic that best highlights his latest efforts in the gym. Now cropping out the background mess that is piled on the floor, the young man adds a filter and simultaneously uploads the shot to Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. It’s his first selfie of the day; punctuated by a subconscious desire for social validation.

The selfie is a clear representation of the present generation that is forced into heavy-duty moments of solitude. Rejected for being outspoken, abandoned for being attracted to the same sex, distrusted for unwrapping oneself from the fibers that categorize human nature, the selfie is taken to declare a sense of dominance. We all want to feel in control of how we are seen and judged by the outside world. As a result, selfie’s and other social media posts exist to dictate our positions in the world.

Every ‘like’ that the selfie receives over the next few hours somehow contributes to this young man’s mental journey towards achieving fame, fortune and inclusion into the American establishment of success.

We live in a culture that promotes division between people. Specifically, gay men of color are forced into a social dynamic where their images, ideas, and experiences are disconnected from others and everyday surroundings as well. As a result, the gay man of color tends to overcompensate for this mainstream divide by utilizing social media as his stage to say, ‘LOOK AT ME’. The ‘LOOK AT ME’, male performance is often labeled as being extra, over-the-top, flamboyant, conceited or even narcissistic. However, it’s important to realize that some of these verbal and visual routines aren’t as much self-obsessive, as they are self-empowering.

This generation has been taught to make things happen for themselves. Modern-day dreams no longer have to be postponed until after a casting agent falls in love with an audition or a network executive decides to green light a new pilot. Since gay men of color are seemingly absent from mainstream television, film, radio and other media outlets, this same gender-loving community has begun to create their own, online platforms. From the various scripted and non-scripted series that are distributed on youtube, to the weekly showcases that are broadcast via Blog Talk Radio, gay men of color are utilizing all available resources to publicly feature and market themselves. The tweets, blog stories, status messages and selfies that are posted between each media release, serve to promote a sense of identity in a world that doesn’t seem to celebrate the individual or collective gay, black experience.

As the sun sets and the dawn of a new day is on the horizon, an entire generation will capture new images of themselves to share throughout the night. Standing in front of their mirrors with an iphone in one hand and hopes of stardom clasped in the other, another series of selfies will make way onto various, social media timelines. For gay men of color who are often marginalized and disenfranchised from the mainstream ‘American Dream’, the silent pictures intentionally scream, LOOK AT ME! It’s a visual declaration of individuality where each person creates, contours and controls their spotlight.

I Cant Deal With Us ‘Just Being Friends’ On YOUR Terms

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Many of us have existed in ‘complicated situations’ where a romantic relationship has ended, but an ex or former lover is still trying to maintain ties to our everyday lives. Often times, this individual views themselves as the victim in the demise of our romantic liaison. In every conversation the two of you have with one another, he or she is constantly talking about how they cannot forget what was done to them. They go on and on about not being able to forgive you and fearing the risk of being hurt if the romantic relationship was given a second chance. This ex claims that they have moved on to someone new, and constantly talks about how happy they are to ‘finally’ to be with an individual who loves, respects and honors their commitment.

You have tried your best over the past few months to apologize for your wrongdoings. You’ve also verbally acknowledged the mistakes you made during the romantic phase of your relationship. However, your ex will not own any of their faults or character flaws that also contributed to the demise of what you two were building together. Instead, he or she focuses on their broken heart and all of the things you may have said or done to violate their trust. As a result, you have begun to accept the fact that the two of you will not reunite. Though you are dealing with a great deal of suffering yourself, your heart is processing all of your disjointed feelings. Mentally, you are preparing yourself to move on to either another relationship or spending time alone, with friends or surrounded by family.

Since you haven’t changed your number and have not blocked your ex from being able to contact you, they are still texting and calling your phone. The communication isn’t occurring on a daily basis, but enough to interrupt your ability to let go completely of the thoughts that surround this individual. Even though the ex is now romantically involved with someone new, he or she still makes tiny references to the possibility of a future between the two of you. There’s often mention of, ‘remember when we use to…?’ OR, ‘wouldn’t it be so cool if we…?’

Each time you receive an early morning text or midday Instagram ‘like’ from your ex, there’s a rush of feelings that filter through your heart. In that moment, you feel a sense of happiness; memories of what was and excitement of what could be. It also strikes you as being odd that your ex still reaches out to you to request the password to their online banking, or even to ask for the number to that really great mechanic you once used to have your car fixed.

You finally ask the ex why they still randomly reach out to you. It’s not that you mind, but the inconsistency sort of sends mixed signals regarding their intentions. After all, they’ve opened their wounds in numerous face-to-face conversations and have seemingly moved on. Basically, you want to know what’s going on; are the two of you working towards reconciliation or is this just supposed to be a friendship? Your ex tells you that they still care about you and definitely want to solidify a friendship. Though you were hoping for a second chance, you find comfort in the idea of the two of you remaining friends.

Then, the day comes when you finally initiate contact with your ex through a simple text that says, ‘hey’. Hours go by and your ex fails to respond. You don’t receive a reply until the next day, as your ex is in the car alone and driving to work. It’s at this moment that you realize your newfound ‘friendship’ has been a secret. Your ex has only been contacting you during moments when their current ‘boo’ isn’t around. Their new love interest has no idea that the two of you have been keeping in touch; even more so because the ex has been initiating communication for months. Not only are you bothered by the fact that you’ve been kept a secret, but you’re also upset with yourself for allowing this person to prevent you from securing a peace of mind.

It isn’t fair that your ex has only been contacting you during moments in their day when the new lover is working or out of the house. If the two of you are supposed to be establishing a true friendship, the moments you associate should not intentionally be hidden from the person they are currently involved with.

To cope with their turbulent, uncontrollable emotions, your ex has been using you to fill the void of their present instability. The breakup of the relationship has left your ex feeling sad, scared and unable to make sense of living their life without seeing or hearing from you daily. In comparison, they are using the new ‘boo’ to fill the void of past hurt and disappointment. In their warped, little mind, jumping into a new relationship will somehow cushion the pain of losing you so abruptly.

Your ex wont consider giving a second chance to the romantic relationship you two were building, but refuses to fully let go of the strings that tie you both together.

It is now time for you to stop worrying about what that other person thinks, does, wishes, plans or feels. You can no longer carry the guilt of what you may have done to contribute to the demise of the relationship. The fact remains that the two of you are no longer together, and the ex is now romantically involved with someone else. The two of you have not been broken up long enough to truly establish a healthy, beneficial friendship.

Stop torturing yourself by accepting their every-so-often advances. Since your ex can’t seem to forgive your faults and acknowledge their own, you have no reason to maintain any form of communication. Only time is going to provide the space for the two of you to grow separately and examine the things that went wrong from an honest point of view.

You should also already know that their new relationship isn’t going to last. Already, your ex is keeping secrets from someone who they supposedly, ‘love so much’. You certainly can’t control his or her decision to lie by omission, but you can control the role you play in their game of deception. Remove yourself from the situation by simply telling your ex to STOP contacting you…altogether.

 Letting go of that person we love so much is tough, but losing our own ability to live each day without emotionally suffering is a lot worse.

NEW VIDEO: The Shirtless Guys On The Flyer Will Never Be At The Party!

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Last week, I took to both of my FACEBOOK pages, HERE and HERE, to offer a little ‘public service announcement’ of sorts. In fun, I made a post to all of the party circuit newcomers about the flyers that are designed to lure patrons into the various events that take place in and around the major cities. Basically, I was sharing the fact that the sexy, muscular, shirtless ‘types’  that are graphically positioned on the promo flyers, are never actually in attendance of the party. When I first hit the scene in 2001, it took me a little while to catch on to the fact that the caliber of dudes who came out to the various functions, rarely looked as polished and ‘Ken-like’ as the men who were used on the 4×6 glossies.

It was maybe Thursday or Friday of last week where I received a notification in my inbox that displayed people still ‘liking’ and commenting the status message. As I began to think about the little disclaimer, it took me back to a period in my life where I was more drawn to the ‘party flyers’ and what they represent, than I was to my romantic relationship.

In the BELOW POSTED NEW VIDEO via the OFFICIAL XEM VANADAMS YOUTUBE CHANNEL, I discuss one of my coming of age experiences circa 2004. I detail the lessons I learned, before encouraging my younger and more impressionable viewers to make wiser decisions.

NEW VIDEOS: #ShoutOutToMicah – Amiyah Scott’s Ex-Boyfriend Shares One Side Of Their Public Breakup

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On Friday, March 28, 2014, I sat down with MICAH DIXON at a private home located in downtown Baltimore. The purpose of our sit down was to give Micah an opportunity to share his side of the story regarding the public breakup between he and openly transgender model, AMIYAH SCOTT.

THE ENTIRE TWO-PART EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE HERE, AS WELL AS VIA THE OFFICIAL XEM VANADAMS YOUTUBE CHANNEL

EXCLUSIVE NEW Xem VanAdams VIDEO! Micah Dixon, military ex-boyfriend of the most beautiful, sought after, transgender model of our generation, Amiyah Scott, sits down with Xem to tell one side of their very public breakup. Over the past few weeks, a scandal has been brewing between Micah and Amiyah. Social Media has been used as a stage for the former lovers to express their hurt, anger and disappointment in front of their thousands of individual and joint fans. Recently, a third party has added themselves into the mix of what is already a very vulnerable period for the beloved, separated couple.

Thrust into the spotlight a year ago, Micah, along with a mutual friend asked if he could share his story and his truth using the Xem VanAdams online media platform. I obliged…

PART ONE

PART TWO

PREVIEW: Micah Dixon Responds To The Hard Questions Regarding His Relationship With Amiyah Scott

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On Friday, March 28, 2014, I sat down with MICAH DIXON at a private home located in downtown Baltimore. The purpose of our sit down was to give Micah an opportunity to share his side of the story regarding the public breakup between he and openly transgender model, AMIYAH SCOTT.

BELOW, take a sneak peek at some of the more difficult questions that I presented to Micah; inquiries that will certainly give the public a clearer understanding of their relationship dynamic.

THE ENTIRE TWO-PART EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WILL BE POSTED TONIGHT VIA THE OFFICIAL XEM VANADAMS YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

EXCLUSIVE NEW Xem VanAdams VIDEO! Micah Dixon, military ex-boyfriend of the most beautiful, sought after, transgender model of our generation, Amiyah Scott, sits down with Xem to tell one side of their very public breakup. Over the past few weeks, a scandal has been brewing between Micah and Amiyah. Social Media has been used as a stage for the former lovers to express their hurt, anger and disappointment in front of their thousands of individual and joint fans. Recently, a third party has added themselves into the mix of what is already a very vulnerable period for the beloved, separated couple. Thrust into the spotlight a year ago, Micah, along with a mutual friend asked if he could share his story and his truth using the Xem VanAdams online media platform. The tell-all interview will be shared in 2 parts via youtube.com/XemVanAdams on the night of Sunday, March 30, 2014. STAY TUNED…

Xemmy Dances To ‘Gust Of Wind’: Pharrell ft. Daft Punk

 

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Everyone has clearly been talking about the latest music to be lifted from Pharrell’s forthcoming, sophomore album, GIRL. I began streaming the ten track release late last night once iTunes made the songs available for early listen. My favorite from the project so far is the Daft Punk collabo, GUST OF WIND. Those of you who follow me faithfully via Twitter and Facebook already know that the track has been on constant replay for the past 18 hours or so.

Earlier today, as I was preparing to head out, I decided to record myself dancing to the song. However, the AUDIO and VISUAL are not synced properly. As I have now discovered, many other consumers have also experienced this exact issue while recording directly from their MACS; utilizing the iMovie software. I was initially going to scrap the idea of sharing the video publicly, but since it was done in fun, Ive elected to post it for you.

I LOVE THIS RECORD SO MUCH and I sooo can not wait until the entire album hits shelves next Tuesday, March 3, 2014.

 

The REAL Nene Leakes Has Indeed ‘Arrived’ & She Needs To Be Held Accountable

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Nene Leakes is self absorbed, condescending and destructive. She does very little to promote positivity and cohesiveness amongst her Real Housewives Of Atlanta cast mates, or the African American community at large. Her demeanor is brash and her manner is that of a brute. She has reached a point in her career where her attitude clearly reveals a sense of entitlement and superiority. This is what happens when individuals forget the fact that God can snatch blessings as quickly as he gifted them.

WE MUST STOP CELEBRATING INDIVIDUALS LIKE NENE LEAKES who do not genuinely embrace the struggles or strides of the LGBT community. Though Nene starred on FOX’s, ‘Glee’ and NBC’s, ‘The New Normal’, two mainstream series that rest on the shoulders of gay creators, advertisers and story lines, she does not support the everyday lives of same gender loving men and women.

During last nights episode of ‘Real Housewives Of Atlanta’, I watched Nene call Kenya Moore’s friend, Brandon DeShay, a ‘Queen’ and/or ‘Woman’ on numerous occasions. While some of US may use ‘Queen/Kween’ as a term of endearment when engaging amongst one another, Nene used the word on national television to defame the character of another gay man of color. Nene has spent the past five seasons, publicly praising her love for ‘the gays’; a watered down expression that diminishes the role of gay men as nothing more than accessories to her ‘fabulous’ life. While you all latched on to her coattails and held her up as the new holy grail for ‘the gays’, I knew from her phrasing how she REALLY felt towards my LGBT community. Gay men could exist in her space for as long as we were styling her hair, painting her face, dressing her for events and trailing slightly behind her as she walked numerous red carpets.  We in turn, embraced her antics; making it even more comfortable for Nene to use our likeness to further push her brand awareness.

Nene is a woman whose core fan-base is comprised of gay men. She has built her reality television persona by mimicking many of the phrases and mannerisms that make black ‘Kweens’ especially, so ‘entertaining’ to the outside world.

Many people foolishly tuned into ‘Watch What Happens Live’ last night with the expectation that the host would address Nene’s character assassination of Brandon DeShay. Personally, I am not shocked or surprised by the fact that Bravo’s head honcho, Andy Cohen has not addressed the issue publicly. He too represents the contemporary club of television executives that contribute to the emasculation of the gay, black man. Ridiculous shows like ‘Fashion Queens’ exist on Bravo to further perpetuate the notion that all gay men of color are over-the-top flamboyant and interested in nothing more than style, hair, makeup, gossip and glam. These are the only images that are being spoon fed to mainstream America; hence Nene’s comfort in labeling US as ‘Queens’. Andy can’t very well chastise Nene for using ‘Queen’ as a derogatory slur, when an entire series has been created on his network that centers around the stereotypes attached to the word. Think about it….

If you ever wonder WHY I invest so much of my time and energy on trying to secure a television platform for brothers like myself and others to express themselves in a panel or other non-scripted format, its to address concerns such as these. At this point in my life, I need my brothers and sisters to be seen and heard on-screen in such a way that gives multi layers and dimensions to who we are behind closed doors.

The REAL Nene Leakes has indeed ‘ARRIVED’ and she needs to be held accountable for her recent on-screen behavior. IT’S DISGUSTING.

If Only Passion Paid The Bills…

XemVanAdams1013

I pride myself on being 100% honest with my audience and totally truthful as it pertains to my real life circumstances. I have never used my platform to be ‘over-the-top’ fabulous, or to present myself on levels above the individuals I inspire and entertain. As a result, I feel that I owe each of you very clear insight as to why I am unable to move forward posting full-time as I was hoping…

On Friday, January 31, 2014, I announced that I would begin blogging full-time and updating the site daily as of February 1, 2014. I had secured the AD placement for XemSays.com, as we added additional plug ins and features to enhance the look of the site. I was excited about returning to my old routine of posting 10 stories each day; focusing on topics related to celebrities, music, movies, men, love, relationships and other social issues. All of you immediately began sending very encouraging messages to me via Twitter, Facebook, Email and Instagram in support of my decision.

I was so excited to get started, that I made 2 posts on Friday, January 31st. Early in the afternoon, I posted a ‘Dear Xemmy’ answer and response article. Friday night, I wrote and posted an article focused on the media image of black women on screen. XemSays.com received 851 views on January 31, 2014. The next day, Saturday, February 1, 2014, I posted 15 stories; 13 associated with mainstream pop culture, and 2 original content pieces. XemSays.com received 3,813 views in total. Yesterday, February 2, 2014, I posted a total of 17 stories that featured celebs, pop culture and their Super Bowl weekend adventures. XemSays.com received a total of 4,012 views before midnight. So, between my initial announcement and 6am this morning, XemSays.com had received a grand total of 8,685 views. Additionally, the ADS that had been placed on the site were only clicked by readers/viewers a total of 106 times.

Page Views Unique Visits First Time Visits Returning Visits
Total 9,338 7,408 6,200 1,208
Average 1,167 926 775 151
Day Date Page Views Unique Visits First Time Visits Returning Visits
Mon February 3rd 2014 566 391 319 72
Sun February 2nd 2014 4,021 3,206 2,576 630
Sat February 1st 2014 3,813 3,058 2,623 435
Fri January 31st 2014 851 696 632 64
Thur January 30th 2014 87 57 50 7
Wed January 29th 2014 0 0 0 0
Tues January 28th 2014 0 0 0 0
Mon January 27th 2014 0 0 0 0

The estimated AD earnings that account for these numbers in comparison to the hours and energy invested into creating these numbers do not measure up. I can not financially afford at this point in my life to keep my head above water, doing what I love and barely being compensated for my efforts. The numbers are there because of you guys, but the financial compensation is not. I would love to wake up each day and sit in front of this computer for 8-9 hours the ways in which I did on Saturday and Sunday. I would enjoy being able to share with you all the many people, tidbits and situations that are capturing my attention at the moment. However, until someone in power sees in me what you all have seen in me for the past six years, I can’t continue creating online content and not receiving fair compensation. I would love for a media executive to believe in my writing, speaking and other artistic talents, enough to financially invest in my ability to create freely. What I’m saying is that the TIME OBVIOUSLY ISNT NOW. I thought I was receiving signals from God to go at it now, but I have to be able to cover my basic needs and expenses in the process.

You will of course still see me in your social media timelines. I am not abandoning my platform. You all are incredibly loving and encouraging of my journey. The numbers don’t lie. We simply have to wait for another time when Im in a position to create and present content daily, while still being able to LIVE semi comfortably. That’s all. Thank you for being here.