On Friday, March 28, 2014, I sat down with MICAH DIXON at a private home located in downtown Baltimore. The purpose of our sit down was to give Micah an opportunity to share his side of the story regarding the public breakup between he and openly transgender model, AMIYAH SCOTT.
EXCLUSIVE NEW Xem VanAdams VIDEO! Micah Dixon, military ex-boyfriend of the most beautiful, sought after, transgender model of our generation, Amiyah Scott, sits down with Xem to tell one side of their very public breakup. Over the past few weeks, a scandal has been brewing between Micah and Amiyah. Social Media has been used as a stage for the former lovers to express their hurt, anger and disappointment in front of their thousands of individual and joint fans. Recently, a third party has added themselves into the mix of what is already a very vulnerable period for the beloved, separated couple.
Thrust into the spotlight a year ago, Micah, along with a mutual friend asked if he could share his story and his truth using the Xem VanAdams online media platform. I obliged…
On Friday, March 28, 2014, I sat down with MICAH DIXON at a private home located in downtown Baltimore. The purpose of our sit down was to give Micah an opportunity to share his side of the story regarding the public breakup between he and openly transgender model, AMIYAH SCOTT.
BELOW, take a sneak peek at some of the more difficult questions that I presented to Micah; inquiries that will certainly give the public a clearer understanding of their relationship dynamic.
EXCLUSIVE NEW Xem VanAdams VIDEO! Micah Dixon, military ex-boyfriend of the most beautiful, sought after, transgender model of our generation, Amiyah Scott, sits down with Xem to tell one side of their very public breakup. Over the past few weeks, a scandal has been brewing between Micah and Amiyah. Social Media has been used as a stage for the former lovers to express their hurt, anger and disappointment in front of their thousands of individual and joint fans. Recently, a third party has added themselves into the mix of what is already a very vulnerable period for the beloved, separated couple. Thrust into the spotlight a year ago, Micah, along with a mutual friend asked if he could share his story and his truth using the Xem VanAdams online media platform. The tell-all interview will be shared in 2 parts via youtube.com/XemVanAdams on the night of Sunday, March 30, 2014. STAY TUNED…
Many individuals aren’t aware of this, but Pharrell actually lost the copyright lawsuit that was brought against him by Marvin Gaye’s estate. As Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ single became the song of the summer, Marvin Gaye’s family accused Pharrell, the producer of the single, of using pieces of Gaye’s 1977 record, ‘Got To Give It Up’. Pharrell publicly denied the accusation, but still elected to financially settle with Marvin Gaye’s estate.
Now, ALEX KAPRANOS, the frontman for rockers, ‘Franz Ferdinand’ is also accusing Pharrell of plagiarism. Kapranos is claiming that Pharrell stole the riff from his band’s 2004 smash hit record, ‘Take Me Out‘.
Pharrell recently worked with an English singer by the name of PALOMA FAITH. He produced a song for her called, ‘Cant Rely On You’. This past week, following all of Pharrell’s accolades and wins at the 2014 Grammy Awards, Kapranos publicly stated that Pharrell ripped off his band to create the beat for Paloma’s track.
Now, I have listened to both songs. It’s only beginning at the 1 minute mark where the Franz Ferdinand song drops the central rhythm in their track. I must admit that once you listen to Paloma’s song closely, you can hear where Pharrell MAY have sped up the riff to create a layer of ‘Cant Rely On You’. However, the main sounds you hear in Paloma’s record are created from drum beats. Ferdinand’s, ‘Take Me Out’ relies heavily on the guitars.
PALOMA FAITH – CANT RELY ON YOU
FRANZ FERDINAND – TAKE ME OUT
Alex Kapranos merely made mention of this infringement via Twitter. Pharrell, of course, did not reply to the social media blast and there’s no talk whether or not Kapranos has filed an official lawsuit. Regardless of the outcome, there is no denying the timeless, unyielding talents and artistic drive that fuels MY Pharrell.
For quite some time now, we have all been aware of the internal struggle that exists between Kim Kardashian and Kanye West over their daughter, Nori appearing on the ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ reality series.
Kim has always been extremely open. Kim Kardashian rose to fame on the heels of sharing the intimacies of her life. As a result, the fans who have watched her blossom in the public eye since February 2007 also want to see her interact with her daughter on-screen. After all, North West is Kim’s first child. A lot of people are extremely interested in seeing and judging the type of mother Kim appears to be. However, Kanye West has fought tooth and nail to keep North West away from the film crews. It’s rumored that Kanye considers reality television to be extremely tacky. He can not control how Kim continues to build her brand, obviously. However, because he is the father of North West, he could legally fight Kim in court if she decides to film with their daughter against his will.
Now, what many people sometimes forget is the fact that Ryan Seacrest is the producer of E!’s ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s’ reality series. This means that he is directly affected financially when advertisers are paying less for commercial spots or pulling products altogether in due part to the plummeting ratings of the show. I have been reading online for months that the ratings for E!’s once upon a time, ‘golden series’, has been nose diving season after season. Each season is pulling in less and less viewers.
In a bid to ‘save the show’ from cancellation, Ryan has recently contacted Kim directly to plead with her in filming scenes with North West. His compromise is that the filming be very limited to special family events and other gatherings. He simply needs footage to use in advertisements and trailers that may peak the interest of those who have long turned their viewing attention away from the reality program. I mean, whenever Kim posts a new pic of North West via Instagram, Twitter or during a talk show appearance, the photos dominate social media for hours. Certain shots receive upwards of 500,000 – 1,000,000 likes, as everyone then copies and pastes the photos to tumblr, Facebook, twitter and every other network. Having North West appear on ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ regularly may certainly result in a ratings winner.
I often wonder WHY Kanye West is so hellbent on not allowing North West to be filmed for the series. He’s obviously okay with Nori’s photos being exposed publicly. He appears to be comfortable with Kim giving exclusive shots to Ellen to be aired on the daytime talk showcase. What really is the major difference in Nori being filmed with a digital video camera? The same audience that likes and reposts Nori’s pics online will be tuned in to watch her physically move on their television screens. I don’t understand the push. Sometimes, I feel that Kanye acts out in certain ways to simply maintain a certain level of control. Quite honestly, I can’t blame him. Kris Jenner is a very headstrong, business savvy woman. She’s the type it seems to get what she wants from people and situations. Kanye is possibly out to prove that he nor his family can be controlled by money or the decisions made by those other than he and Kim.
I just wonder if Kim Kardashian will soon begin to resent Kanye once she realizes how much of herself she has given up and sacrificed in the name of loving him. Once her series is canceled and she is no longer in the public eye regularly, will she be angry at herself for not standing up for her career and her desires?
Im not much of a sports fan, and never have been. However, there are certain individuals on and off the field whose names and faces I recognize. As of recent, PAM OLIVER has become one of those personalities. I began seeing the above posted photo of the 51 year old, Fox reporter in my Twitter and Instagram timelines a few weeks ago. People were also then creating memes to poke fun at the sideline personality for the condition and appearance of her hair. Pam didn’t initially respond to the public attacks, but now she has spoken out…
To be 100% honest, I do feel that male and female celebrities, reporters, politicians, athletes and other public figures are expected to uphold a certain, physical decorum. While I don’t feel that everyone needs to be laid in weave, drenched in labels and powdered in MAC, television personalities should be concerned with their appearance. After all, even as individuals, everyone on-screen represents the brand of their company.
On the other hand, Pam Oliver should be applauded and recognized for her professionalism as a woman who is succeeding in a male dominated industry. We too often expect women to polish themselves in such a way that still sexualizes or ‘pretties up’ their image in front of the men they engage.
I haven’t seen Pam Oliver on the sidelines enough to know whether or not her hair is usually tame or unkept. Pam makes it clear that she does not have a personal glam squad, and is more concerned with trying to speak with players pre game or doing any last minute research before conducting interviews.
The American, record buying public does not like the fact that Justin Bieber’s entourage is comprised of predominately black men. Justin’s management team and record company would actually prefer that he lived the same cookie cutter, American pie life behind closed doors as the one they sold to the media when Justin debuted on the music scene. At this point in time, Justin may not be aware of the fact that his handlers are scheming to rid him of his ‘black friends’. Since Justin obviously isn’t taking heed to the warnings and other separation tactics handed down by his team, I believe in part that the police raid was organized by Justin’s management. The egging incident was merely the surface cause.
It truly saddens me to watch young brothers become nothing more than walking, social statistics. At only 19 years old, rapper LIL ZA is now facing a total of 9 years behind bars. The ‘black friend’ of Justin Bieber, is said to be the only one in Justin’s Calabasas home who admitted to police that the drugs found during the raid belonged to him. Allegedly, there were six or seven ‘other black guys’ in Justin’s house at the time police barged through the front doors. Lil Za would not admit to owning or using cocaine, but he supposedly told police that the ecstasy and oxycodone they found were his. As a result, Lil Za is being charged with two counts of felony possession of a controlled substance; one for each narcotic. Once in custody, Lil Za became irate and began calling out the precinct officers for being racist and mistreating him because of the color of his skin. During an isolated incident, Lil Za broke and smashed the precinct phone while still detained. As a result, he is being charged with a third felony. Honestly, I had no idea that destroying any type of property, aside from bombing of course, could be considered felony behavior. EACH OF THE THREE FELONIES HOLDS THREE YEARS. This means that shortly after his 20th birthday in May, Lil Za could be going to prison for a little under a decade of his life. Lil Za will be arranged on Tuesday, February 4, 2014. That’s the depressing reality right there.
I don’t have any issues with the fact that Justin Bieber chooses to hang with black or latino men. My issue is with media entities who try to use Justin’s ‘black friends’ as the scapegoat for his behaviors. We are literally watching Lil Za’s life unravel. He accepts total blame and responsibility for drugs that were probably purchased by Justin and drugs that Justin often snorts or swallows behind the closed doors of his Calabasas estate. Bieber is a 19 year old pop star who is able to get his hands on any drug, weapon, sex toy, stripper, fast car or luxury item he desires. Of course, Justin is aware of all that goes on inside of his home. He is being allowed to escape the consequences for the ecstasy and oxycodone that were found on the technicality that he was not home. I honestly wouldn’t put it past the LAPD to have known specifically that Justin would not be home at the time of the raid. We live in a day and time where blogs, google and any other search engine can detail where certain stars are staying, performing, shopping and eating at all points during the day.
If the LAPD truly wanted to catch Justin Bieber inside of his home that day, they would have caught Justin Bieber popping pills and drinking inside of his home that day. The hit and MISS was intentional as far as Im concerned.
Many of us over think and overanalyze the ways in which we express ourselves towards those whom we share a romantic interest and involvement. When the relationship isn’t officially titled or defined it becomes extremely difficult to display those feelings as it pertains to acknowledging this individual during birthday or holiday celebrations. Choosing a greeting card or selecting a physical token of our love can present great challenges. We fear overwhelming the other person with too much romance, too soon. Sometimes, we become confused about making a gift purchase that delivers ‘over-the-top love and affection’ or buying a present that doesn’t ‘say enough’. The dilemma not only forces us to inquire amongst our friends about the ‘best gift to give’, but we also begin to question the status of our untitled relationships.
Sometimes, gift giving can change the dynamics of a relationship. The tangible items exchanged between two people who have established some form of romantic relations should send a message straight from the heart. The gift does not necessarily have to hurt the pockets. It becomes important that our present reflects our feelings, as well as our intentions for the future of that relationship.
BELOW I am sharing a few suggestions and gift ideas for those who exist in relationships where the union is special, but UNTITLED and UNDEFINED…
1 MONTH: Undefined/No Title – Handmade Card + Dinner On You; you haven’t spent a lot of money, but have displayed a strong sense of care by carving out time to create something tangible that the individual can keep for a lifetime. Very few adults create cards and keepsakes for their love interests. The card will be cherished and never forgotten. The dinner should also be a meal that you’ve prepared at your home OR that you’ve had your friends prepare and have passed off as your own cooking. LOL!
2 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – 2 Copies Of The Same Book ; it gives you two a reason to spend quality time each week discussing the characters and plot structure of certain chapters that each of you are reading separately, but simultaneously. This forces stimulating, engaging conversation that has nothing to do with the chaos and noise that may surround your blossoming relationship.
3 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Joint Membership/Season Passes To A Favorite Place (Amusement Park, Museum, Gym); this says that you look forward to getting to know them better and seeing where the great connection leads. An on-going membership to anywhere suggests that you are investing in the long term advancement of the relationship.
4 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Concert Tickets; you of course know his or her FAVORITE artist, band or group at this point in the relationship. The honeymoon period is certainly ending, but they are now worth a little more financial investment. Spending a couple hundred dollars on great seats to their favorite artist’s tour will win you MAJOR points. You also get to sit, sing and dance alongside them as they enjoy the show.
5 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Engraved Item/Monogram I never advise anyone to get the name of their love interest tattooed on their body. However, engraving your names or initials into a picture frame, bracelet or matching champagne glasses creates a strong sense of solidarity and promise. You are once again sending the message that you desire a defined relationship and are very open to the possibility.
6 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Shoes/Coat/Jewelry; an item of clothing that he or she will wear regularly, and therefore be forced to associate you with every time they catch themselves in the mirror wearing the item or they receive a compliment from someone else. Seasons have changed drastically at this point in the relationship and by now you are very familiar with their style. It should be easy to choose the perfect fit, design and color.
7 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Dance Lessons or Cooking Classes; another activity that allows the two of you to spend quality time together. Its very rare for couples to take the same courses alongside one another, unless they met in a school setting. For those who already know how to dance or cook, find courses that introduce a style of each craft that you know your undefined/untitled boo is unfamiliar with.
8 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Weekend Getaway; all expenses paid by you to an intimate, secluded, hideaway type location. Avoid the major islands or conventional, tourist sites. Choose a location that has cabins or cabanas. You want a place that is created for couples and not children. This allows for very quiet, peaceful moments where the two of you can sit talking and lay together in comfortable silence.
9 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – A CD or DVD compilation of songs, photos and video footage that frame the special periods in your on-going relationship. Let this compilation be something that you’ve created using significant, captured moments that the two of you have created together. Personalize the CD or DVD to reflect the inside jokes that the two of you share, as well as the music and memories that will make each of you laugh and smile together.
10 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – An Upgrade; a new and improved version of one of their most damaged or destroyed essentials. It could be a new cell phone, a new set of matching plates and silverware, high end computer, new digital camera, etc. You’ve invested a lot into this individual over the past ten months and you truly feel that they’ve grown to appreciate and value your presence in their life. An upgrade will always stand as a reminder that you are the one who made it possible for them to NOW DO… or NOW BE ABLE TO MAKE… You’ll be the first person they take a picture with using their new camera. You’ll be the first one invited over to eat their refined cooking on the new dinnerware.
11 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Personal Request Coupons; it’s rather funny and cute to offer your undefined/untitled boo a small booklet of coupons that they can use to get what they usually want from you. If you talk a lot and he or she is always asking you to ‘please shut up’, you can present them with 3 ‘KEEP QUIET FOR 20 MINUTES’ COUPONS that they can present to you during periods when they really don’t want to hear what you’re saying. If they always want to have sex and you don’t, you can present them with 4 ‘SEX NOW‘ COUPONS that they can come home and cash in during moments when they really want it & you’re not in the mood…as usual. It’s a really fun way to allow your undefined/untitled boo to sometimes have their way.
1 YEAR: Undefined/No Title – The Ultimatum; you either define our relationship and place a real title on what our union means, OR Im not entering the new year alongside you. LOL! At this point, you’ve given very clear signs that you are invested in the future of the relationship. You’ve been extremely patient, caring, understanding and thoughtful in the sharing of your heart and time. If you are still being treated as the mistress, the final gift should be your GOODBYE.
HAVE YOU GIVEN SIMILAR GIFTS TO YOUR ‘SPECIAL SOMEONE’ WITH WHOM YOU HAVE NO TITLE OR DEFINED RELATIONSHIP? DID YOU PICK UP ANY IDEAS FROM MY LIST?
UPDATE: After writing this article, posting it and now reading…Im thinking some of these gifts are a little TOO SPECIAL for someone who exists in our romantic lives without a title. Hmm?…
For ages, black men have been objectified as the big and burly brute. Positioned as a sexual beast that terrorizes in the bedroom and a social monster that’s intimidating outdoors, the black male exists as an image of physical, dominating force. His ‘big, black penis’ is modeled as a tool of destruction; the phallic weapon used to destroy his sexual conquests. As seen in contemporary, pornographic films, black men, especially darker skinned males, have become savages in the ways in which they engage and interact with their partners. Through the scripted dialogue, costuming and plot structure of these XXX flicks, black men play the stereotypical roles of either the mandingo or homo-thug.
Under normal circumstances, the ways in which black men in gay porn speak to one another is very limited. The verbal interaction is often void of realistic conversations that take place between two people before they engage in sexual activity. Every other phrase spoken in gay, black porn consists of, ‘my nigga’. Where ‘my nigga’ is absent from the sound bed, deep, animal-like grunts are inserted to fill the audio track above the accompanying music. The entire identity of both or multiple men included in the scene is suspended and replaced with hyper-masculine pronouns. The dominant, beast-like portrayal of these men is pinned with the repetitious, ‘beat it up YO’, ‘pound my shit HOMIE’, or ‘I want that dick PAPI’. Rarely does gay, black porn present scenes where the dynamics of a healthy, romantic relationship is illustrated through shared, common language. Terms of force and other urban slang are used to further perpetuate the black male as a sexual beast. The black, male penis is verbally referred to as big meat, a pipe or a dagger. The physical sex is then labeled a ‘bang session’ or purely, ‘a fuck’. Though designed to intensify the fantasy of the black male as a powerful, sexual being, the terms and dialogue often dehumanize the black, male existence.
Unlike their white, male counterparts, black, gay porn stars don’t usually appear in flicks dressed as business men, professors, fraternity boys or uniformed athletes. The thug image of black men is personified through the style of clothing that is selected for urban, gay porn stars to wear in adult films. Despite the evolution of style and dress for the contemporary, black man, XXX films still wardrobe their stars to resemble the stereotypical image of urban youth. In most films that feature gay, black men, the characters are dressed in white tank tops, sagging, denim jeans, Timberland boots, and fitted, baseball caps. The homo-thug is brought to life on-screen as every stitch of his clothing is created to mirror social concepts of how ‘all black men look’ in society. Despite the fact that black men also attend college, work in professional office buildings and engage in sports aside from basketball, the porn films hardly ever portray their gay, black stars dressed in such a way that parallels these normal transitions in their day. Instead, the oversized clothing, boots and display of exposed underwear, is used to create the idea that the gay, black male is a criminal who lives in the streets, and lacks formal education. The look of ‘wife beaters’ and ‘hoopin shorts’ is constantly painted in XXX films to marginalize gay, black men as nothing more than the gangster, brute who releases his pent up aggressions in the bedroom.
The plot structure and story lines that are created to frame gay, black, adult cinema are designed to further illustrate black men as savages. In most XXX flicks, the black male is often portrayed as the aggressor who uses his dominating force to take advantage of his partner. In an almost animalistic fashion, the black male is often seen overpowering his conquest and taking physical control over the sexual situation. Many of the porn films that I’ve watched where the cast is comprised of predominately, black males, the story line that leads up to the intercourse is non-existent. Unless paired alongside a white, male lead, most gay, black films don’t display intimate, socially realistic moments shared between characters. The sexual acts usually occur in very small, dirty, minimalist environments; motel rooms, alley’s, dingy, studio apartments or back room areas. It isn’t often that gay, black porn stars are paired alongside one another in a space that mirrors the upper-middle class lifestyle that many gay, black men live on a daily basis. The sexual relations that exist between gay, black men in porn are watered down to dismiss any sense of emotion or intimacy. The acts are most often portrayed as being extremely casual, random, rough, unprotected and void of any sense of love and commitment.
I understand that most pornography isn’t intended to reflect the romantic relations that exists between people. However, I have to suggest that the images and interaction between gay, black men in adult films is intentionally created to perpetuate the celebrated mandingo and homo-thug stereotypes. Pornography serves to fulfill the voyeuristic fantasies of those wanting to explore their sexual desires. It’s just unfortunate that the subliminal idea of gay, black men existing as a brute amongst his counterparts is the dominant image in gay, XXX films. The repetitive imagery is a major, contributing factor as to why so many young, gay, black boys and teenagers have a warped and misguided idea of how they are ‘supposed’ to engage with their same sex partners behind closed doors.
Frank Ocean is having a good week. On July 10th, he made his debut television performance on Late night with Jimmy Fallon. That same day his album, Channel Orange, was pushed ahead of schedule by a week for digital download. Early sales predictions see Channel Orange entering the charts with a very impressive 110-125k copies sold from just the digital downloads alone.
Coldplay has selected Frank Ocean to open select dates of their European tour in July and August. He has been the hot topic on various social networks for weeks now.
What pushed this sudden surge of attention? Frank Ocean decided to share something personal and honest with the world…his first love was with another man.
Rumors first sparked after a music reviewer noticed that the subject in a few of Frank’s songs was “he” instead of “she.” Then, on July 4th, Frank took independence and freedom to another level when he posted a letter on his tumblr page. The 4 paragraphed letter vividly described the feelings and emotions he experienced when, at 19, he realized he had fallen in love with a guy he was seeing. His bold and blatant honesty was/is something extremely rare from a male in music industry; 10x more so for an African American male.
The public reaction was mixed. Many, including other artists, supported his honesty and bravery. However, there was also some backlash. There were individuals who claimed they would no longer support Ocean or his music, which is odd considering that his lyrics and music had not changed since he posted his letter. Either way, one thing was very clear, the spotlight was on Frank Ocean. Def Jam didn’t miss that fact and pushed up the digital release for his Channel Orange album. Fans have not only purchased his music but also posted pics on instagram, praised their favorite songs on Facebook + Twitter, and have encouraged others to buy it as well.
It appears that Frank’s moment of truth will work in his favor; at least for the moment. Thankfully, he has more than enough raw, authentic talent to carry him through.
The situation does make one wonder though…how many other male artists longing for the spotlight could be contemplating their own moment to come out. We all know they exist in the industry, singing to the females but looking at the males.
So now could be the time to follow in Ocean’s footsteps. but will anyone? At the end of the day it is nice to see someone not only bring a breath of fresh air to the music industry but also the African American male community.