posted via the Xem VanAdams social media networks on August 20, 2015
I think we, myself included, often forget that there still does exist the earthly presence of a single man who is happily “doing him”. Not everyone spends their days and nights thinking about being in a relationship. Instead of chasing cuddle sessions, weekend dates and thick, round tail, he is content spending time with himself. He enjoys the routine of waking up, working out, heading to work, coming home, washing his truck, fixing dinner for himself, reading, watching CNN, maybe posting a pic on Instagram, taking a shower, talking to his mother on the phone for 20 minutes and then falling asleep in the center of his own bed.
Every single man isn’t on the prowl for a romantic companion. He is just as content in life spending time with his nieces & nephew while his sister runs her errands. He looks forward to going to the movies to see “Straight Outta Compton” alongside the friends he grew up with in the old neighborhood. Yes, he has experienced romantic love in the past and knows firsthand the comfort that a partner potentially provides.
However, he isn’t looking for love…or expecting to even find it. He enjoys his freedom to just BE. And despite everyone’s assumptions that he’s sleeping with multiple people or entertaining numerous individuals behind closed doors, his life really couldn’t be any simpler. He’s single by choice, but open to allowing something new to impress upon his life – IF the opportunity just so happen to present itself.
posted via the Xem VanAdams social media networks on August 25, 2015
when a guy comes out of his mouth and blatantly says, “IM NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP. SHORTY, IM JUST CHILLIN” – pay very close attention & never forget his telling words.
it does not matter how often the two of you smoke together, have sex, wake up in the same bed or get caught up in the longest and most intimate conversations. it does not matter how many times he has asked you to help him with things that seem like tasks or responsibilities that someone would only ask of a romantic partner. the universal, social motto, “ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS” does not necessarily apply to guys who arent interested in investing themselves into committed, titled relationships. yes, he enjoys spending time with you. he definitely finds you attractive. and he may have even introduced you to his mother, god sister, close homeboys and first born. so what?…
once upon a time, these moments were monumental signals that suggested a dating situation was moving closer to something substantial. now-a-day, guys pull these stunts as a part of their regular, dating routine. EVERYONE meets the homies in 2015 and EVERYONE gets invited to family cookouts.
you and your “girlfriends” are wasting time sitting around trying to figure out WHY he would have said this or done that IF he didn’t really want to be with you. when a man you have been spending intimate time with has changed his mind about wanting to enter into a more serious, monogamous relationship, he will come out of his mouth and say so.
him getting jealous over you pretending that you’re seeing someone else or him blowing up your phone because you’ve been intentionally ignoring his text messages for days, is his EGO IN ACTION and not his heart.
it’s totally cool that you play with the guy who “isn’t looking for anything serious”, but balance the time you spend with him alongside another man who IS wanting a long term relationship.
*its just so unfortunate that the guys who are willing to give us the world are the ones we are usually not organically drawn to*
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