Many of us over think and overanalyze the ways in which we express ourselves towards those whom we share a romantic interest and involvement. When the relationship isn’t officially titled or defined it becomes extremely difficult to display those feelings as it pertains to acknowledging this individual during birthday or holiday celebrations. Choosing a greeting card or selecting a physical token of our love can present great challenges. We fear overwhelming the other person with too much romance, too soon. Sometimes, we become confused about making a gift purchase that delivers ‘over-the-top love and affection’ or buying a present that doesn’t ‘say enough’. The dilemma not only forces us to inquire amongst our friends about the ‘best gift to give’, but we also begin to question the status of our untitled relationships.
Sometimes, gift giving can change the dynamics of a relationship. The tangible items exchanged between two people who have established some form of romantic relations should send a message straight from the heart. The gift does not necessarily have to hurt the pockets. It becomes important that our present reflects our feelings, as well as our intentions for the future of that relationship.
BELOW I am sharing a few suggestions and gift ideas for those who exist in relationships where the union is special, but UNTITLED and UNDEFINED…
1 MONTH: Undefined/No Title – Handmade Card + Dinner On You; you haven’t spent a lot of money, but have displayed a strong sense of care by carving out time to create something tangible that the individual can keep for a lifetime. Very few adults create cards and keepsakes for their love interests. The card will be cherished and never forgotten. The dinner should also be a meal that you’ve prepared at your home OR that you’ve had your friends prepare and have passed off as your own cooking. LOL!
2 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – 2 Copies Of The Same Book ; it gives you two a reason to spend quality time each week discussing the characters and plot structure of certain chapters that each of you are reading separately, but simultaneously. This forces stimulating, engaging conversation that has nothing to do with the chaos and noise that may surround your blossoming relationship.
3 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Joint Membership/Season Passes To A Favorite Place (Amusement Park, Museum, Gym); this says that you look forward to getting to know them better and seeing where the great connection leads. An on-going membership to anywhere suggests that you are investing in the long term advancement of the relationship.
4 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Concert Tickets; you of course know his or her FAVORITE artist, band or group at this point in the relationship. The honeymoon period is certainly ending, but they are now worth a little more financial investment. Spending a couple hundred dollars on great seats to their favorite artist’s tour will win you MAJOR points. You also get to sit, sing and dance alongside them as they enjoy the show.
5 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Engraved Item/Monogram I never advise anyone to get the name of their love interest tattooed on their body. However, engraving your names or initials into a picture frame, bracelet or matching champagne glasses creates a strong sense of solidarity and promise. You are once again sending the message that you desire a defined relationship and are very open to the possibility.
6 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Shoes/Coat/Jewelry; an item of clothing that he or she will wear regularly, and therefore be forced to associate you with every time they catch themselves in the mirror wearing the item or they receive a compliment from someone else. Seasons have changed drastically at this point in the relationship and by now you are very familiar with their style. It should be easy to choose the perfect fit, design and color.
7 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Dance Lessons or Cooking Classes; another activity that allows the two of you to spend quality time together. Its very rare for couples to take the same courses alongside one another, unless they met in a school setting. For those who already know how to dance or cook, find courses that introduce a style of each craft that you know your undefined/untitled boo is unfamiliar with.
8 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Weekend Getaway; all expenses paid by you to an intimate, secluded, hideaway type location. Avoid the major islands or conventional, tourist sites. Choose a location that has cabins or cabanas. You want a place that is created for couples and not children. This allows for very quiet, peaceful moments where the two of you can sit talking and lay together in comfortable silence.
9 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – A CD or DVD compilation of songs, photos and video footage that frame the special periods in your on-going relationship. Let this compilation be something that you’ve created using significant, captured moments that the two of you have created together. Personalize the CD or DVD to reflect the inside jokes that the two of you share, as well as the music and memories that will make each of you laugh and smile together.
10 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – An Upgrade; a new and improved version of one of their most damaged or destroyed essentials. It could be a new cell phone, a new set of matching plates and silverware, high end computer, new digital camera, etc. You’ve invested a lot into this individual over the past ten months and you truly feel that they’ve grown to appreciate and value your presence in their life. An upgrade will always stand as a reminder that you are the one who made it possible for them to NOW DO… or NOW BE ABLE TO MAKE… You’ll be the first person they take a picture with using their new camera. You’ll be the first one invited over to eat their refined cooking on the new dinnerware.
11 MONTHS: Undefined/No Title – Personal Request Coupons; it’s rather funny and cute to offer your undefined/untitled boo a small booklet of coupons that they can use to get what they usually want from you. If you talk a lot and he or she is always asking you to ‘please shut up’, you can present them with 3 ‘KEEP QUIET FOR 20 MINUTES’ COUPONS that they can present to you during periods when they really don’t want to hear what you’re saying. If they always want to have sex and you don’t, you can present them with 4 ‘SEX NOW‘ COUPONS that they can come home and cash in during moments when they really want it & you’re not in the mood…as usual. It’s a really fun way to allow your undefined/untitled boo to sometimes have their way.
1 YEAR: Undefined/No Title – The Ultimatum; you either define our relationship and place a real title on what our union means, OR Im not entering the new year alongside you. LOL! At this point, you’ve given very clear signs that you are invested in the future of the relationship. You’ve been extremely patient, caring, understanding and thoughtful in the sharing of your heart and time. If you are still being treated as the mistress, the final gift should be your GOODBYE.
HAVE YOU GIVEN SIMILAR GIFTS TO YOUR ‘SPECIAL SOMEONE’ WITH WHOM YOU HAVE NO TITLE OR DEFINED RELATIONSHIP? DID YOU PICK UP ANY IDEAS FROM MY LIST?
UPDATE: After writing this article, posting it and now reading…Im thinking some of these gifts are a little TOO SPECIAL for someone who exists in our romantic lives without a title. Hmm?…