You Are Not Your Circumstances: Finding The Pulse Of Happiness

Regardless of ones race, class, gender or sexuality, LIFE throws each of us curve balls. We invest time and effort into devising a short term plan for our lives, and somehow, prayer just doesn’t seem to be enough. You’ve been trying to save money so you can move into a nicer place, and every other month, something new is going wrong with your vehicle. Just when your relationship seems to finally be flowing in a positive direction, your grandmother is diagnosed with a rare disease. As soon as you’ve secured a new job that is barely paying, but enough to make ends meet, your financial aid for school falls through. Every day, you’re waking up and trying to forge forward for the sake of your family that supports you or your child who looks up to you. You’re reminded by friends and associates that you have your health, a roof over your head, food to eat and other basic needs that are being met daily. However, you can’t seem to place your hands on the pulse of happiness. Often times, you feel sad and alone as you stand in the bathroom mirror, brushing your teeth. There are certain intangible things in life that you have tried so hard to attain, and nothing in your plans seems to work in your direct favor. As a result, it becomes easy to feel defeated. Many people then begin to accept failure during these moments; for it seems that they’re carrying the weight of the world on their tired shoulders.

There have been times over the past four years that the conventional form of ‘HAPPINESS’ did not exist in my life. Even now, with all of my blessings and opportunities, I don’t know if I am truly ‘HAPPY’. I was raised to be appreciative, grateful, humble and understanding. However, as I get older, it becomes tougher and more difficult to find the PULSE OF HAPPINESS. I get tired of having to ‘be grateful’ or satisfied with ‘what I already have’. I become annoyed having to be patient and understanding of the fact that ‘Im where Im suppose to be.’ It’s frustrating accepting the fact that, ‘everything happens for a reason’. Life, for me, has presented many circumstances over the past four years that I have allowed to take control of my existence.

What many of us don’t realize is that the pulse of happiness changes its pace, rhythm and beat as we enter and exit the different phases in our lives. The pulse slows down at certain moments when other feelings and senses are intensified, as it increases when we are experiencing a surge in the turning points of our lives.  As human beings, we subconsciously compare the feeling or idea of happiness to what we remember it to be as children, teenagers and very young adults. The pulse of happiness feels different for each of us. As some associate the feeling with financial freedom and the comfort of existing in a long term relationship, others experience the pulse of happiness in their ability to be free of family burdens or even having a clean home. We associate the feeling of being HAPPY with the environments, activities and circumstances in our lives that create the most peaceful state of mind. Finding your PULSE OF HAPPINESS is about discovering the elements in life that present the most comfortable and secure experiences.

When I say that YOU ARE NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES, I am suggesting that the setbacks in your life should not dictate your mood. Being HAPPY is a conscious decision on the part of the individual. If your financial, romantic and professional life all seem to be in temporary shambles, turn towards your PULSE OF HAPPINESS. If planting in your garden, eating a quart of ice cream, watching a figure skating competition or playing video games intensifies your pulse, indulge in those activities. Control the pulse of your happiness by structuring the events, situations and experiences that frame the down time in your life. We choose to be miserable, defeated and sad. We choose to wallow in the rejection, failures and disappointments. We choose to stop the PULSE OF HAPPINESS by turning our backs on the elements of life that help catch and redirect the curve balls that are thrown into our lives.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYONE SAY…WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN, GO AROUND YOUR FAMILY OR THOSE WHO MOST LOVE YOU? – That is a part of controlling your PULSE OF HAPPINESS. You are making a conscious decision to fight against the set backs by surrounding yourself with people who naturally create a sense of comfort in your life.

It is extremely difficult to free your spirit from the dungeon of distress. I know. I’ve experienced it all. When sadness saturates our being, we often give in to that mood. Staying in that dark space for too long results in depression and eventually leads to greater, emotional problems. It becomes most important that you recognize what your PULSE OF HAPPINESS is. When you are faced with hardship and your circumstances appear bleak, turn towards the elements in life that force your heart and spirit to beat. Fight against the disappointment, rejection or feelings of failure by finding your PULSE and controlling your HAPPINESS.

It’s NOT an easy task, but it will truly help pave the rocky periods of your daily and ultimate, life long journey.

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