Relocating to a new city presents many challenges for an individual who has established their personal, professional and social life in the place where they were born and raised. Meanwhile, moving to maintain a romantic relationship or to support the dreams and career goals of a significant other can create additional obstacles, struggles and internal fears. Before making such a major life change, there are certain issues that should be considered. Anyone who makes the decision to abandon their home and leave their comfort zone, must take the necessary, logical steps to guarantee that the move will also serve their best interests. One must consider the status of their relationship, the stability of their professional progress , as well as personal desires vs. romantic pressures. If all factors aren’t weighed equally, a long distance move for the sake of only satisfying the significant other may result in long term resentment and personal stress.
The status of a romantic relationship plays a huge role in determining whether or not a couple is ready to move away and live together. While the length of time that two people have been united is an important factor, it becomes necessary to consider the hardships that a couple has already faced and survived. A couple that regularly breaks up whenever they are forced to jump a hurdle in their relationship, is not ready to move their relationship to a new town. Two people who have mutually decided to weather the storms despite the conditions are mature enough to pair their relationship against a long distance move. Initially, a couple will more than likely have to rely on one another for comfort, entertainment and support in an environment where neither has established other social relationships. Both individuals must be willing to spend more time than usual alongside one another, especially as one partner may require the additional, emotional stability. It can become very difficult for anyone to adjust to an environment where transportation, resources, people and other surroundings are completely unfamiliar. Moving to a new city or state to be with your significant other may not be the best idea if the demands of their new job or sudden opportunity aren’t going to allow them to spend the quality time that you have become accustomed to. If you are not the type of person who is willing to accept the temporary changes that may alter the levels of intimacy or attention that you receive from your significant other, moving away from your comfort zone to be with them may not be the best idea.
Additionally, a couple who has never lived together will be forced to adjust to a new physical and emotional lifestyle. The daily regime may include increased levels of compromise, patience and sacrifice that weren’t required in the previous interactions alongside one another. The long distance move can destroy a couple that has not established a comfort zone within their relationship. Both individuals have to be committed to being supportive of one another beyond the obstacles that will frame the time spent in their new city or state. There will be times when one partner wants to give up and return home. Certain moments or situations may cause the other partner to question if they have the strength to survive in an unfamiliar city. Financially, when the bank accounts are low and bills are still due, both individuals must be willing collectively to do everything necessary to make ends meet.
Moving out of town to maintain your romantic relationship also means that you are leaving behind your local, professional opportunities, as well as your employment stability. Regardless of the money your significant other will be bringing into the new home, it is extremely important that you don’t surrender your career or economic independence. Prior to making the decision to relocate, it becomes imperative that you research the job market in the area where your partner has elected to live. You should be sending your resume and/or portfolio to as many companies and employment agencies as possible. Prior to making the decision to follow your partner across country, guarantee that you have aligned options to continue growing professionally. If you maintained full-time employment in your hometown, don’t surrender that element of your livelihood in another city. Financially, you want to be able to contribute to the household, as well as being able to provide your own needs; toiletries, co-pays for doctor visits, gas and other basics. In the event that the relationship goes sour, you also never want to be in a position where you can’t afford to lease or buy your own place. You should have enough money saved to return home if you should so choose. The worst and most uncomfortable living arrangement is having to reside with an ex until you can get on your feet and find another place to live.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with living with your significant other who is able to pay all of the bills, and simultaneously finance the luxuries that the both of you enjoy. However, if you are not engaged in a paid job or activity that stimulates your personal interests, you stand the chance of becoming codependent on your partner to provide everything. This eventually results in one feeling worthless and unfulfilled within the confines of the relationship; you, them or both.
Are you moving to another state because you truly want to be with your partner physically, or are you simply fearful that the relationship can’t survive long distance if you don’t?
The self imposed pressure to relocate in an effort to ‘save the relationship‘ is a huge mistake. Eventually, you will begin to resent your partner, as you will ultimately feel that they have dragged you away from the familiarity of your family, friends and overall sense of stability. Mentally, if you don’t think that you are ready to restructure your life, it’s best to discuss long distance romance options with your significant other. Placing yourself in a physical situation that will not be beneficial to you, despite your partners life changes, will only present detriments to the longevity of the relationship. If you are going to travel to a new city or state and live with your significant other, do so because you truly want to be in this new environment alongside them.
If you truly don’t wish to relocate, be open to the idea of traveling on the weekends to see and spend time with the love of your life. Modern technology also provides numerous resources and outlets that will allow you and your partner to engage with one another online, almost daily. Instead of placing a strain on the relationship by uprooting your life to solely accommodate your partners desires, make the decision to compromise in other ways. Initially, go with your lover to their new home and aid them in settling into the new place. Take personal or vacation time from work and stay with them for a week or two. Be present to help make the transition as smooth and carefree as possible. Consider allowing your significant other to establish themselves in their new city or town while you stay home. This allows you time to properly plan and prepare yourself for relocation. Eventually, you may grow more comfortable with the idea of changing your lifestyle. If given appropriate time to weigh the pros and cons of relocating for your partner, you may choose to once again become a daily part of their physical space. Don’t rush the decision!
Relocating to another city or state to reside with your significant other presents as many joys as it does challenges. Determining some of the obstacles ahead of time and preparing to defeat them as a couple is essential in maintaining the longevity of a romantic relationship. When both individuals are determined to physically and emotionally support one another during the transition, the outcome shall be beneficial for both partners. Move away with the love of your life because you truly want to be with them, not because you are afraid of existing in a long distance relationship or losing the romance altogether.