FULL 30-MINUTE VIDEO – “Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men”: the iphone group chat live (Washington, DC)

Xem VanAdams Presents

Love, Dating and Relationships Between Men

The iPhone Group Chat Live
*In association with XemSays.com and Emerald Eye Entertainment

The themes of love, dating and relationships between men of the LGBT community frame this 30- minute, real life video segment. Over the past three years, out writer, speaker, advice columnist and online personality, Xem VanAdams has spent countless hours throughout each day engaged in a series of group text message and screen-cap exchanges with his two good friends, NATE and DUANTE. On Saturday, July 11, 2015, the trio invited three other guys to join them in Washington, DC for a roundtable discussion that would bring to life their iPhone group chat conversations. MATTHEW, BRANDON and CHRISTOPHER were added as round table contributors to the candid conversation. The video release offers a balance in the images, ideas and experiences that comprise the spectrum of the modern day gay male.

With the unprecedented success of FOX’s latest musical-drama, Empire, it’s no secret that the character of Jamal Lyon has especially resonated with cross-cultural audiences. Jamal’s passion, talent, confidence and external strength appeal to not only the gay male, but also to the special women in our lives who support and champion our journey. Behind closed doors, if Jamal were to be sitting with his close, same gender loving friends, this video visually peers into how the group conversation may look and possibly sound. “Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men: The iPhone Group Chat Live (Washington, DC)” invites viewers to witness and embrace some of the backstory that creates our personal lives as open, gay men living in a major, American city. Filmed by Joshua Cristos and his Malak Media team, this group of guys engages on film in a 30-minute conversation that successfully addresses the relationship dynamics that frame their individual lives, which then ultimately ties them all together.

Join us today by watching and possibly posting, sharing or linking this special Xem VanAdams video segment that has been released exclusively via youtube.com/XemVanAdams, XemSays.com & XemSays.tumblr.com.

Hailing from Baltimore, Maryland, Xem VanAdams is a writer, speaker, advice columnist and nationally known online personality. Xem offers love, lifestyle and self-esteem advice through original articles posted to his XemSays.com website and a series of informational and entertaining videos recorded for his youtube.com/XemVanAdams channel.






5-Minute Video Preview: “Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men” — The iPhone Group Chat Live (Washington, DC)


At this time, my entire core audience is well aware that a major video project is being released next Sunday, August 16, 2015 via this official XemSays.com website, the youtube.com/XemVanAdams channel, as well as XemSays.tumblr.com. Five weeks ago, promotions began featuring a group of men sitting and standing together on a residential set located in Northeast Washington, DC. Following a series of candid photos appearing across the various Xem VanAdams social media networks, specific information and details regarding the content of the filming session was released appropriately. Now, we exist exactly one week prior to the distribution of a filmed, 30-minute, roundtable discussion where six men speak candidly about their direct and indirect experiences associated with love, dating and relationships. The segment is being released on August 16, 2015 to commemorate the seven year anniversary of the first viral video to be spread across the world wide web from Xem VanAdams on August 16, 2008.

Now that the entire cast has seen the professional, final copy of Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men“: The iPhone Group Chat Live (Washington, DC), I elected to share a small segment of the footage with the audience who will be the first to embrace the material in full next week. Pulling 5 minutes of spliced visuals from the completed version, this preview highlights various pieces of the conversation where Xem VanAdams inquires about individual dating rituals and romantic life experiences. With each individual sharing different points of view and opinions, this quick clip offers a peek into what is to be expected from the upcoming video segment.

PLEASE PREPARE TO WATCH THE EAGERLY ANTICIPATED VIDEO PROJECT WITHIN THE FIRST 24 HOURS OF ITS RELEASE ON SUNDAY, AUGUST 16, 2015. If you have never shared a public comment within the past 7-8 years on any of the Xem VanAdams blogs, articles, videos or other posts, please make this release your first offering of online feedback. Additionally, it is being requested that you click the “THUMBS UP” button that will exist at the bottom right of the uploaded video content. Regardless of the amount of “LIKES” that the video has garnered at the time of your viewing, PLEASE add yours as well — for each “LIKE” counts as a visual display of support. We will need you to extend your support even further within the first 24 hours of release by also SHARING THE VIDEO LINK on your twitter timeline, within your Facebook groups, on your tumblr page, reposting Xem’s promo image from the video and accompanying caption on Instagram after it is uploaded between 8pm EST and 9pm EST, as well as embedding the video to your personal website or other online forums where you may be registered. Help this video release achieve massive viewership and widespread reach.

THANK YOU for continuing to engage with Xem VanAdams and the quality content that is released as a stem of the Xem Says brand, as well as the umbrella, Emerald Eye Entertainment vision.

Where You Plant Your Seeds Is Where Your Garden Will Grow

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While out in Mount Washington this morning praying and taking photos, I decided to turn the camera on myself and share a brief message that existed in my spirit. I hope something of what I say resonates with the right individual(s).

I simply want people to realize that the power of change truly does rest in our hands. How you invest your time, energy and attention determines the ways in which certain elements in your life will ultimately take shape. Our circumstances are temporary. Those who plant seeds during harvest season, shall reap the rewards of their hard work and continuing efforts as the tides turn.




The iPhone Group Chat Live: Washington DC

iPhone Group Chat - Final S

In association with XemSays.com and Emerald Eye Entertainment

 Xem VanAdams Presents…

 The iPhone Group Chat Live: Washington, DC





Over the past three years, I have spent countless hours throughout each day engaged in a series of group text message and screen-cap exchanges with my two good friends, NATE @psycho_gemini and DUANTE @4theloveofdevious.

Discussing a variety of issues associated with our dreams, aspirations, spirituality, favorite music, news headlines and other people’s online mess, the three of us always return to the ins and outs that frame our dating or relationship experiences. In the winter of 2014, we joked one morning about how funny or odd it would be to see other people’s reactions if they were to ever read a leaked copy of our uncensored, iPhone group chats. We made the collective decision to someday film ourselves actually talking to one another as openly and freely on camera as we do via cell, daily. Then, a few weeks ago, the three of us attended a happy hour event in Silver Spring, MD to kill time before we arrived at the Tori Kelly concert. Duante randomly suggested it would be a good idea to add other individuals to our videotaped chat session. He wanted to incorporate guys who would possibly challenge the similarities in our perspectives and points of view.

After careful evaluation, we decided that MATTHEW @jaiden_elijah, BRANDON @bgldnboi and CHRISTOPHER @me_poppa, would make great contributors to our candid conversation. On Saturday, July 11, 2015, the six of us convened in Northeast, Washington DC to openly discuss love and dating within our community. iphoneA

Filmed by Joshua Cristos and his Malak Media Group team, the six of us engaged in a 30-minute conversation that tackles a variety of issues. Through a series of direct questions and bold responses, this group successfully addresses the relationship dynamics that exist between men.

Join us during the summer of 2015, as this special Xem VanAdams video segment is released exclusively via youtube.com/XemVanAdams, XemSays.com & XemSays.tumblr.com.

Please follow the Xem VanAdams social media networks to guarantee that you are one of the first individuals to be notified before the link to this special presentation appears in timelines and forums across the World Wide Web.









SURPRISE NEW VIDEO! “The Difference Between Being Shady & Socially Selective”


I received a phone call earlier today that prompted me to not only tell a personal story on camera, but to also share a tidbit of truth regarding the difference between friendship vs. association. I also delve into this present day obsession people seem to have with “throwing shade” or being shady. Sometimes, as adults, I don’t feel that many of us truly understand how to effectively communicate with one another without feeling slighted. I have learned to always be direct in the beginning, as to AVOID situations where I can be labeled or mistaken as a shady, dishonest or “funny acting” individual.

WATCH BELOW as I sit before you to detail yet another recent tale in my life. You decide whether or not I was being SHADY or SOCIALLY SELECTIVE. 

PREVIEW The NEW Xem VanAdams VIDEO – LOVE & PIT STOPS: The Poisons Of Social Media


Many of you are now aware that the 1st Xem VanAdams video of 2015 has been recorded. Announcements began towards the end of last week via all of my social media networks to inform each of you that a new video was on its way. I elected to discuss a topic that plagues contemporary pop culture and society at large. I not only wanted to address the “poisons” of social media, but I chose to tap a little into the reasoning behind its growth and influence amongst our youth, teenagers and adults as well. The video runs a total of 25 minutes. I begin by discussing the dynamics of social media and how it contributed to our lives when I began blogging in September, 2007. Then, I segue into the growth and affects of social media’s imagery, personalities and power over the decisions we make in our everyday lives.

I’ve chosen to release a preview just because I know that my core audience hasn’t seen me on camera in almost 6 months. The first few minutes of the actual video release is dedicated to my immediate supporters; as I share a tidbit of personal information that is sure to bring us closer in some regards. As this year progresses, many of you will begin to understand why I have chosen to reveal these facts at this moment in time.

Meanwhile, enjoy the preview clips. Please be sure to watch, comment and rate the NEW VIDEO within the first 24-48 hours of its release. An announcement regarding the upload date will be made via TWITTER, BOTH FACEBOOK PAGES, INSTAGRAM and TUMBLR. If you are not following me on all social media, please click the above embedded links TODAY. Each link will lead you directly to my personal page for that particular network. 

The official LOVE & PIT STOPS: THE POISONS OF SOCIAL MEDIA video will be released IN FULL via Youtube.com/XemVanAdams soon enough. I encourage you all to post the actual video on your Twitter timelines, tumblr pages, Facebook walls and even screen cap images or upload a quick clip to your Instagram’s. I want the video to reach beyond my core audience because the message and content is universal at this point.

THANK YOU for continuing to love, support and embrace my journey. I look forward to recording additional videos and sharing them publicly as we move progressively through this new year.




Amiyah Scott’s 8-Part Interview With Ceasar Will Of BRTB TV + Debut Of “TRIANGLE” Web Series


Yesterday, November 6, 2014, Ceasar Will of Ballroom Throwbacks TV released his highly anticipated sit down interview with Miss. Amiyah Scott. Filmed recently in New York City, Ceasar and Amiyah came together to discuss a series of issues directly related to Amiyah’s personal life and experiences living as an open and proud transgender woman. It is no secret that Amiyah presently exists as one of the most highly recognized and adored public figures amongst the LGBT community. Though she may not receive the type of mainstream, headline news coverage as Laverne Cox or Janet Mok, Amiyah certainly appeals to hundreds of thousands of people from around the world. Amiyah’s beauty, brand and coming of age story resonates with individuals who not only identify as being trans, but also many others who simply embrace the notions of acceptance, tolerance and equality amongst the human race.


I first discovered Amiyah circa 2005/2006 when she walked Fem Queen Face for the illustrious House of Mizrahi. During that time, I followed the blog of Frank Leon Roberts; an online personality from the LGBT community who existed before the days of Youtube notoriety. It was through his exclusive collection of photos and personal stories, that individuals like Amiyah Scott began to receive online press. At the time, many viewers and onlookers only knew Amiyah for her stunning, physical features. It wasn’t until years later that she would be given the opportunity to begin sharing her trials and triumphs with the world at large.

In this 8-part interview, Amiyah addresses various topics presented to her by Mr. Ceasar Will. She discusses her family background and how her transition into womanhood affected the dynamic of her household. Amiyah addresses the “scandals” associated with transgender women outing male celebrities for their interests in dating or desiring personal relationships with other transgender women. Ceasar asks Amiyah to express her feelings about the word, “Tranny” and how the connotation behind the term makes her feel personally. We get to hear Amiyah express her true feelings about friendship VS. association, the existence of “social climbers”, her reasons for walking away from the ballroom scene, as well as how being involved in ballroom years ago helped to shape her present platform. As a celebrated public figure, Amiyah of course discusses how social media has helped frame her brand and how that brand may potentially sustain her future.

Amiyah is extremely articulate, poised and professional throughout her 80 minute sit down.

Ive watched all 8 segments of the interview – each part running an average of 10 minutes. The interview begins with Ceasar asking Amiyah a series of fan questions that were posted to his main Facebook account. Many of you who aren’t well versed in “ballroom” may not be aware of the few names she drops or individuals she’s asked to discuss in a few of the segments. However, there is enough BROAD conversation for each viewer to understand a little more of who this amazing lady has become.












Also, Ceasar is presently producing a new web series that has been heavily promoted and eagerly anticipated over the past few months. I was invited to attend the Philadelphia premiere of the series last night, but was unable to cancel my attendance at another scheduled event. Nonetheless,TRIANGLE has made it’s online debut and many are already buzzing about the central storylines that frame this pilot webisode. Laced in conflicts of love, lust and betrayal, TRIANGLE mirrors the trials that plague the personal and romantic lives of everyday people. I haven’t watched the entire first episode, but I have seen enough promotional trailers to know that the series is filled with EYE CANDY.

I hope you will spend some time this weekend watching and supporting yet another release that has been written, directed and produced by stars from our very own community.

The Complex Kiss That Changed Everything Between Music Producer, Tariq Muhammad & Rapper, Kaldrick King


In early 2012, I began watching a new, CW series called, “The L.A. Complex”. The one-hour drama focused on the lives of a group of young adults who were all chasing their artistic dreams in Los Angeles, California. I was initially drawn to the showcase because of the central theme of twenty-something’s all residing in the same apartment complex; each aspiring to become the next big actor, actress, writer or music star. I could relate to the synopsis directly, as many of you know that I relocated to California six years ago in an effort to change the direction of my life as well. As I watched the first full season of “The L.A. Complex”, I never fell in love with the entire cast of characters. However, I was very drawn to the storyline that surrounded the personal and professional life of Benjamin Watson’s character, TARIQ MUHAMMAD.


Tariq works as an intern for a major music producer. With aspirations to create his own beats and establish himself as a heavyweight amongst the music industry, Tariq hustles his days away doing any and everything inside of a Hollywood, recording studio. While completing one of his assigned tasks to forward a series of beats to the team of famous rapper, Drake, Tariq intentionally sends one of his own creations along with the specified samples. Drake’s management team falls in love with Tariq’s work, which then prompts Tariq’s boss to request that the up-and-coming producer contribute to KALDRICK KING‘S forthcoming album. When Kal and Tariq meet for the first time, a flame is ignited that erupts into a bonfire of emotions. The series follows the complexities of their loving and tumultuous relationship.


Despite the fact that Andra Fuller’s character, KALDRICK KING is a famous rapper who doesn’t publicly acknowledge his same-sex attractions, his character isn’t treated to the typical, “down low” storyline. The internal struggles that Kal endures to balance the external challenges of his career and public persona are so poetically delivered on screen. The personal and professional dynamic that exists between he and Tariq plays against the sensationalized & over sexualized interests that often umbrella same sex couples.

It was also very refreshing for me to watch Tariq’s character especially, as he totally represents the ‘middle men’ in the black, gay community that are hardly ever portrayed in mainstream television or film. Tariq’s character is given three-dimensional development. The ‘L.A. Complex” audience is given an opportunity to peek behind Tariq’s artistic passions, professional endeavors, everyday friendships and romantic relationship with another black male.


I have never shared the below posted video footage previously because I assumed that the large majority of my audience had already been exposed to this on-screen relationship. However, as I was reading a message last night in response to my ‘Derek J Effeminate Gay Black Men In Mainstream Media’ post, I realized that many of my readers and viewers might not be familiar with this very intriguing storyline. I encourage you to spend some time today or this evening, just really watching the relationship that forms between Kal and Tariq. You will smile during some of their scenes together and you will certainly cringe while watching others. The acting is very fluid, the outpour of emotions is realistic and the structure of their relationship is quite infectious from afar.

Jarod Joseph

I also think you will be very impressed by the way the series portrays the openly gay, black, male attorney, CHRISTOPHER TAYLOR. Played by Jarod Joseph, the attorney is very outspoken, confident, proud of who he is and desiring a monogamous relationship. For the first time ever, I saw certain elements of myself in this fictitious, television character.


Naturally, as with any scripted series that focuses on the lives of gay men of color, the show was canceled after only airing for two seasons. However, during the nineteen episodes, I think the writers did a great job of answering viewer questions and wrapping up solid plot points. Very little is left on the shelf about what happens between Kal & Tariq or how they face their personal challenges outside of their romantic relationship.























andra fuller2

ANDRA FULLER Discusses His Character of KALDRICK KING



Please feel free, as always, to contact me via TWITTER, FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM or EMAIL – XemVanAdams@gmail.com to share your thoughts about the characters specifically and/or the relationship that exists between them.

NEW Xem VanAdams Poem + Video


MEAN BOYS: 5 To A Table & You Cant Sit With Us

written by Xem VanAdams
July 2014.

We are too attractive to speak first
consumed by our ill created selves,
complacent in the short, shelf lives of our faux legacies
Everything to show but nothing to tell.

Dilapidated delusions of grandeur
for we are better than you,
intertwined like old furls of a chain link fence
arrogant, catty and rude.

We are the mean boys, the A-Listers
obsessed with being fashionable and fab.
You are nothing more than a relative unknown,
NO muscles, NO coins, NO swag.

College degrees led to our suit and tie jobs,
with benefits and paid vacations.
A white house internship and personal checks from our fathers
secured our fraternity affiliations.

You will never have it as good as we do.
Watch as we reach heights you’ve never dreamed of.
erase your baroque fantasies of success and super stardom,
as we snatch them with our selfish stained gloves.

We are the mean boys, the chosen few,
without a speck of sentimentality.
Trading friendship for adoration, family for public acceptance,
caught in our own tangled reality.

Ten thousand instagram followers each,
from every major city we could mention.
And all we had to do was pose half-naked under the spotlight,
to get you to vie for our attention.

You and your friends are of dark complexions.
How do you expect to compete in our world like that?
We already stand several steps ahead of you
since we are light, mocha-colored and only half-black.

You’re right, race IS still an issue.
that you everyday people are fighting to change.
But we’d rather focus on crossing the upper class lines,
and winning the social status game.

We breathe an air of superiority,
Inhaling public praise for validation
reminding you that you’ll never be good enough
by comparison; brought up in every conversation.

We are the mean boys. True to form.
Escaping wounds of adolescence still unraveled,
forgetting our pasts have a way of reeling us back in…
no matter how far we travel.


Stand in the corner and face the wall.
Cry, exhale if you must.
But the table is set with only room for five,
and you still can not sit with us.

RANDOM VIDEOS: Xemmy Dancing At Home…


Home alone on Saturday evening, I decided to record one of my many dance sessions. Usually, to release energy between writing articles, filming new youtube segments or working out, I blast music and dance. This time, I decided to turn the cam on myself and share some of the footage with my loyal and loving audience. The videos were initially posted Saturday night via my TWITTER, FACEBOOK ORIGINAL and FACEBOOK OVERFLOW social media pages. Now Ive decided to archive the footage here for those of you who aren’t actively following me across all of my online networks. This is simply me, your ‘Xemmy Bear’ having a good time behind closed doors.

Im actually still wearing the clothing I threw on once I left the gym early Saturday afternoon. ENJOY!

BTW – you can begin following me via VIMEO, as this is where I will continue to release random videos, bonus footage and other promo content that I elect to not upload via the official Xem VanAdams Youtube Channel.

 Xemmy Wildin Out To Pharrell ft. Miley Cyrus:

Come Get It Bae

Xemmy Dancing To Justin Timberlake:

Dress On