I’m Dating You NOT Your Friends!


In life, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where the person we’re dating, is severely attached to their friends. Most of us appreciate meeting the individual who enjoys occasionally going out with their homeboys or girlfriends, as opposed to sitting in our faces every day. However, it’s the guy who feels the need to always have his ‘lonely friend’ or ‘troubled boy’ around often, that seems to ruin the peace in our relationships.

Most longterm friendships exist in such a way where one individual is always the strength or ‘hero’ for the other. It then becomes ‘just our luck’ that we meet and begin catching feelings for that hero type. He wants to save everyone around him by nurturing their hearts and protecting their feelings. These qualities initially draw us towards this man, romantically. Then, it becomes increasingly difficult to deal with the fact that this man is so nurturing and guarding of others feelings. The problem is that he won’t say NO to his friends. He allows his homeboys to come over to his place on Sunday afternoons when the two of you were supposed to chill quietly and fix lunch together. This man agrees to let his friend tag along on outings after the two of you have planned a special date night together. He feels obligated to be present for his friends around the clock, and its really taking a toll on your comfort level within the relationship.

SAY SOMETHING TO HIM THE SECOND TIME. Its perfectly okay in initially agreeing to have the broken hearted friend come over to watch a movie with you and your boo. Especially if you’ve already met and bonded with the homeboy, never be insensitive to his troubled times by initially saying that you don’t want him around. However, be sure to encourage your date the NEXT TIME to set boundaries between his friendships and the relationship that the two of you are trying to develop. It is very difficult getting to know someone intimately when other individuals are constantly present. Your date has to be man enough to let his friends know that the time he is spending with you is private and separate from the time he dedicates to them. Otherwise, these individuals who are so use to your date being single and all of the time available, aren’t going to respect your presence. It’s often not malicious or intentional behavior on their part. Friends simply become comfortable with how things were BEFORE you entered the picture.

Before your attitude, mood and demeanor rubs the friends negatively, tell your date that his friends do not need to engage in all of your coupled activities. Be sure that you’re nice and considerate of his feelings when you express yourself. After all, he considers his friends to be a part of an extended family unit. The friends were present before you met the date and will more than likely be in his life should the two of you decide to part ways.

Please WATCH the below posted video. It’s HILARIOUS! I’ve posted it via my Twitter and Facebook pages, previously. The short clip stars my friend, Nikiva Dionne @NikivaDionne. She’s an actress who lives and performs in Los Angeles, California. This video sums up the root of this post.