Dateless & Alone On Valentine’s Day: Another Year. Same Story.


In my lifetime, I have been single and alone on Valentine’s Day more often than I’ve had someone to celebrate the commercial holiday with. If Im being honest, I have never been a hopeless romantic, and therefore never got caught up in the hoopla surrounding Valentine’s Day. I was always the one in my relationships and ‘situations’ who waited until the last minute to plan a date or purchase a conventional gift. Valentine’s Day simply hasn’t been a big deal in my life, until recently.  Even though Im still not phased by the hearts, balloons, flowers and dinner dates that define the holiday of love, Im now a lot more conscious of February the fourteenth.

Living in this age of social media, it’s sometimes very difficult to ignore the fact that it seems everyone in the world is coupled up and surrounding us. People feature their romantic relationships up and down our timelines as often as we see hashtags and celebrity memes. Every other commercial, print ad and billboard is designed to sell Valentine’s Day as the one time of year to celebrate your romantic love alongside the man or woman of your dreams. Then, for those of us who don’t exist in relationships, we subconsciously begin to feel ‘left out’ of the special moment. Even though Im use to spending Valentine’s Day by myself, it’s the social design of the holiday that creates these conscious feelings of ‘being alone’.

Most people don’t feel bad on Valentine’s day because they are without a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s that worthless feeling of being unimportant and undesired that creeps up inside of people around this time of year.

FOR EXAMPLE: It’s not the fact that you really wanted to go to the bowling alley on a Thursday night with your best friend and her annoying co-workers. It’s the fact that she didn’t bother to invite you that’s making you ‘feel some type of way’.



Because you now understand that it is the social dynamic of exclusion that attacks single people on Valentine’s Day, we have to make the conscious choice to numb ourselves to that external force.

EVERYONE IS NOT CELEBRATING VALENTINE’S DAY WITH SOMEONE THEY LOVE. Commercials, magazines, print ads, billboards and social media posts make us feel that way by saturating the airwaves with the idea that, ‘YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS IN A NEGATIVE MANNER IF YOU ARENT CELEBRATING VALENTINES DAY WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.’ That is the external force that then attacks your internal conditions. Feelings of loneliness begin to build inside of you and attacks your self confidence. Realistically, MOST PEOPLE ARE HOME ON VALENTINE’S DAY OR SPENDING THAT TIME WITH THEIR OTHER SINGLE FRIENDS. These individuals have chosen to fight against the external forces by refusing to allow those worthless thoughts to filtrate through their minds.

This year, instead of moping around the house and feeling sad for yourself, treat Friday, February 14, 2014, the same ways in which you would treat the start of any other weekend. AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA for the entire day, if possible. Tell your friends to communicate with you through GChat, as your phone will be powered off while your sitting idle at work. Don’t post or comment on Facebook status messages, tweets or Instagram pics. Fall into your own space for those 24 hours. Buy yourself something new to wear early in the day; whether it be a sweater, a pair of boots you’ve been eyeing since the new year, or an expensive pair of underwear you’d normally never splurge on. Go home and sit in the tub for an hour or two after work, instead of taking a quick, 15 minute shower. Relax your body. Then, put on your new item, paired with a few of your other, favorite pieces. Spray on your sexiest perfume or cologne. Head out to have drinks with your unattached friends, and bask in the love that exists between each of you. LIFE truly is about making the moment yours, INSTEAD of allowing society to dictate how the moment should exist.

If you are feeling bad in these next few weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, its because you are giving in to the external forces that say you are worthless for being single and unimportant for not having a lover ‘like everyone else’.

While typing this post, I just realized why Valentine’s Day never truly mattered to me. My birthday is on February 17th, and Ive probably always been focused on that date. 

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